Day 105 - 10 miles (1:50:00)

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly." - Beatles

Miles Ran: 336.19 Dollars Raised: $1,734.40 (THANK YOU MATT VUOLO! Good luck with your own triathalon!)

Ahhh...

...today was an overall exhausting and somber day. This morning we got a call from my grandmother saying that her fiance, and for all accounts, a family member of ours over the past ten years passed away last night from a heart attack, after he had left Boston to fly home to England and was transferring flights in Frankfurt. This really set the tone for a day of gray skies, funky weather, tears, memories, and consoling. I was really glad to be home with my parents to accept this news, and was disappointed that my brother wasn't able to make it back with me. I decided to dedicate my run to Roy Martin today, a man who truly made an impact on us Shirley's and everyone else who was fortunate to know him. He had been SO supportive of me throughout this training, it really hit me that he wouldn't be here to celebrate the milestone of finishing it.

After procrastinating heading over to the Ashley Reservoir in Holyoke by doing a little damage at the mall, my Mom and I reached our destination around 3:00. I was a teenyyyy bit nervous because this was the first time I've done a long run since my injury, and I wanted it to go well so badly with next weekend's half marathon coming up. I had talked with our neighbor Brian yesterday, who recommended staying off of the treadmill and concrete, and running on paths, which this happened to completely be! The paths, after all of this rain and snow, was full of mud and puddles to avoid. I think it was actually a little bit of a blessing, even though I got my brand new sneakers pretty dirty :(, because I had that extra little bit of cushioning as I landed my heel down.

I was really surprised, my stride seemed somewhat normal (not on the balls of my feet yet) without much pain at all. I think it was more of an adjustment to just be out running for as long as I was, since I hadn't done it in TWO weeks! For a brief period of time my ankle hurt a little bit, but when I shifted my weight to the inside of my foot it seemed to ease up. It was definitely a struggle though... I don't prefer running loops, but did three times around the 3.25 reservoir, and then ran back to my Mom at the very end, which was at least the extra .25 miles I needed. SHE, by the way, was my amazing water girl. I gave her my water bottle to carry as she walked around the Res in the opposite direction, so every few miles I was able to rehydrate and have a little spurt of encouragement. When the puddles were like an obstacle course, and the wind was blowing cold air, and my quads were hurting, and I was getting water in my shoe, and I was sticking in the mud, I would ask Roy to help me out and help give me strength to keep pushing. There was NO WAY I was not going to finish all three laps, and it helped to be focusing on a reason for running, for someone who always believed in me.

Day 104 - 2 miles

"Success isn't how far you got, but the distance you traveled from where you started." - Pre Fontaine

Miles Ran: 326.19 Dollars Raised: $1,684.40

The morning started off with a little sleeping in (8:00 AM...) and finishing up some things around the apartment and Allston. I had to run over to Staples to exchange my DVD's for CD's that finally burned correctly, then to Whole Foods for the gel the acupuncturist recommended Traumeel, then gas, and then I was homeward bound to West Springfield around 11:30.

I made a pit stop at DSW in search of some flats with arch support or some casual/chic sneakers I could wear to work but was skunked again... Maybe I'll try out the one in Boston tomorrow.

After I got home and did a couple loads of laundry, my Mom and I went for our first run together EVER! I was so proud of her! It was the first time she had ever run outside off of the treadmill, and it was my first time running outside again since the injury--which I enjoyed SO much better. She just started running and is at a slower pace than I used to be, but it was perfect for a not-so-stressful run for me. It made me think about how far the two of us have both come over the past year: me with my running, and she with her working out. A year ago there was NO WAY I could have coaxed her into going for a run with me, but today she said yes without hesitation and hopefully it will be the first of many :)

It's weird to think it's been a year of running... I started with my goal of completing the 5K that occurs the day before the Marathon, so it was literally right about now that I started training for it. It seems like it flew by, and now, especially working through this injury, I can't imagine my life without running. I was saying to my Mom that besides just wanting to finish the marathon at this point, my main other frustration is that I was on track to perhaps qualify for next year's Marathon with my time, and now that's probably out of the question. So I'm thinking after the Marathon, and when my foot is completely healed, maybe I'll try to run another one when I'm at a better healthy state and try to qualify somewhere else. We'll see... I didn't think I would get hooked on marathons, but I guess you could ask me that again on April 19th.

Day 103 - Acupuncture

"Believe it can be done. When you believe something can be done, really believe, your mind will find the ways to do it. Believing a solution paves the way to solution." - David Joseph Schwartz

Miles Ran: 324.19 Dollars Raised: $1,684.40

What was mostly a whirlwind of frustration the entire day turned into a positive, relaxing evening.

I was having the hardest time figuring out how to burn my movie onto a disc for the girls. I think it was a combination of my computer being ridiculously slow and full to the brim with pictures and music, and that I was trying to put it on DVD's instead of CD's. We did finish off the season with a win! There seemed to be at least 15 other bumps in the road regarding this post-game party... I was so relieved when the message at the video finally played, and realized how full I was from taking my frustration out on two pieces of pizza in about 10 minutes.

After the party I drove into the city for my acupuncture appointment at OMBE! I was the only one in the studio, having the last appointment of the day, which was very comforting to be able to talk about my entire, extensive health history. I was amazed at the type of things the acupuncturist picked up on--from looking at my tongue and asking if I've been really warm at night lately (YES! I feel like I'm sweating!) to not getting enough fatty acids in my diet that could help give a little extra cushioning around my joints and muscles. She thinks that I might have some tendonitis in my peronial muscle. She referred me to an orthopedic athlete specialist at Children's Hospital that I'm going to try making an appointment with ASAP. Then I have another appointment with her Wednesday night.

She put needles around my ankle that's been feeling weak, on my shins, my knees, on my arms, my hand, on the very top of my head, and right in between my eyebrows. It felt just like a really tiny pinch, but wasn't uncomfortable at all. When she first put them in, she was talking to me (maybe distracting me, like what they do when I get real shots or blood taken...I know that trick well) and I don't know if it was my nerves or the acupuncture, but it took so much effort to not sound like a drunken idiot trying to put my sentences together. She did very light stem treatment on my foot for about 10-15 minutes or so, then let me rest for 15 minutes, readjusted the needles, then let me rest for another 15.

I did feel some funny sensations throughout the treatment. Within seconds of inserting the needles I didn't feel them at all, except for one in my hand, in that muscle between your thumb and pointer finger. Within a couple minutes it was actually like a burning sensation, but not in a painful way. I really felt like a lot of energy was where my hands were laying on my abdomen. Then after the stem, as I way laying there, both of my feet were tingling a little bit. Then! I started getting little muscle spasms really quickly from my hip, to my back, to my knee, to my quad. My breathing was also really deep through my nose, which was strange because when I'm REALLY relaxed I usually breathe through my mouth.

When I slowly got up to make my way out, my walking stride had really improved, so I'm hoping to see continued improvements. She gave me a TON of recommendations for treatments I can do myself, and recommended holding off for another 24 hours to try my long run, which I can accept. Maybe I'll try to do some other type of cross training instead.

Day 102 - Basketball and 3 miles (28:09)

"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Miles Ran: 324.19 Dollars Raised: $1,684.40

I can honestly say I'm getting more and more confident in the healing process of my foot :) At some points it doesn't hurt at all, and at others, yes, it's painful and sore, but not unbearable like it was in the beginning. I feel like I've faced my fear and am not even thinking that the marathon is out of reach, I'm just going to do everything possible to do my best.

Today was a crazyyyy workout day. It started off with the much anticipated Varsity/Faculty game--and I think we put up a good fight! haha Running sprints up a down the court, and with a sore foot, is definitely a far cry from endurance running! By the end I felt like myself a little bit, and scored two baskets, so that was enough for me. And it was a lot of fun!

When I got home I worked on this beauty for a little while....

...and then went over to the gym for a run. The guy at the desk remembered me from last week with my limp and asked how I was feeling--way to go on customer service BSC! Then I hit the treadmill. That first mile man, it's ROUGH. My legs feel so tight no matter how much I warm up or stretch. I think part of it has to do with me adjusting my stride. I was never much of a heel-toe striker, and now I have to until I can put more weight on the balls of my feet. I'm anxious to get outside and run, but these rainstorms are no fun. We'll see how it goes on Saturday with the group run...

I'm hoping to work out a new schedule with Rick for my long runs for the rest of training. The long runs are the most important. I think I'm going to try to take it as easy as possible during the weeks until the marathon--maxing out at MAYBE 5-6 mile runs during the week days, and then the long runs on the weekend.

I'm really looking forward to resting and acupuncture tomorrow! I'm sure there will be lots to write about! And we have our last basketball game, with a pizza party and presentation of this little movie :)

Day 101 - 4 miles (42:10)

"I measure what's going on and I adapt to it. I try to get my ego out of the way." - Martin Zweig

Miles Ran: 321.19 Dollars Raised: $1,684.40

Ahhh... what a long day... As I pulled out of Winsor at 7 PM I realized I had been doing work-related things for TWELVE AND A HALF HOURS! Both Mid 1 and Mid 2 had back to back away games at Thayer School, which, with traffic, took incredibly longer to get to and from than it should have. Both teams lost, but put up a good fight.

I came back determined to make it to the gym even though I've been fighting one of my many recent headaches. It actually seemed to disappear while I was running, and now it's back again. I went straight to the treadmill this time as it was getting late by the time I got there, I didn't want to waste whatever energy I had left, and my bum bones still hurt from that bike!

I think I jinxed myself earlier when I said that 4 mile runs were beginning to seem SO easy and short. Short for someone who's running them in under 35 minutes with no injury! The first mile was more of a struggle than ever. My muscles felt really tight. It's hard because when I go slower, even though it's all I can do at this point, my legs feel heavier and it ends up keeping me on the treadmill for a longer amount of time. At this point, the time doesn't bother me as much because I need to build up that endurance again. But it's just SO much easier to pick up the pace. I did the second half at at least 6 mph, which I felt good about.

I think I'm going to have the athletic trainer at school take a look at my foot...maybe she can give me some sort of treatments during the afternoons now that I'll be free from practice. Tomorrow I'm playing in the Varisty/Faculty game, which I'm excited about, but hope I listen to my limits. I just have too big of an ego haha I don't want people thinking I can't handle something, or that I'm not a good athlete.

This headache is taking over my soul, I think I need to go sleep it off. G'night!

Day 100 (really?!) - Basketball

"I would like to be here. I would like to be there. I would like to be, everywhere at once, I know that's a contradiction in terms." - Daniel Day Lewis, Nine

Miles Ran: 317.19 Dollars Raised: $1,684.80

As much as I wanted to test out the treadmill again today, plans unfolded differently.

First, this morning I was BOMBARDED by four shrieking basketball girls at my desk, who came up with this fabulous plan that the other coach and I would drive them to IHOP for Free Pancake Day after practice! Of course there is nothing wrong with this plan! haha So throughout the day I was peer pressured to go, consulted with the other coach, and after much debate were reeled in to meet them there to enjoy the rubbery, sugary short stack.

While we were at basketball practice we let the captains make up the details of our practice since it may be our last one. This involved the coaches participating in almost every drill, and normally I would not participate, but I figured I'd try to prepare myself a little bit for the faculty/varsity game I'm supposed to play in on Thursday. I surprisingly made it through the hour and a half of basketball with just a little soreness at the end, but I figured I wouldn't push it by trying to put some mileage on top of that, and am instead icing my foot numb at the moment as I rock out to the Nine soundtrack.

I'm also really excited because

1. I'm getting to bed kind of early (when did I get so old?)
2. I just got a bunch of Princess Half Marathon info
3. I made an orthopedic acupuncture appointment for this Friday evening. Hopefully it will kick this thing! I'm trying to think of this injury as what it was like to play basketball or volleyball with a sprained ankle or something. It's just another injury that will heal... This article was also in the Globe yesterday that I found pretty inspiring: http://www.boston.com/lifestyle/articles/2010/02/22/steeling_the_mind_helps_marathoners_deal_with_training_obstacles_like_illness_or_injury/?page=1

Off to fill out one million Disney and acupuncture forms!

Day 99 - Cross

"To run where the brave dare not go." - Man of La Mancha

Miles Ran: 317.19 Dollars Raised: $1,684.80

I had no idea my blog had a theme song this whole time! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0iCgr08wRU)

I really do believe the Reiki did get me back on track. Today I just felt completely relaxed, and it definitely did not feel like a Monday. I felt like everything just rolled off my back, and though there were a few things that might have normally thrown me off kilter, I was able to see another side, and find a solution, rather than dwell on negativity.

I wanted to take a day off from overexerting myself on the treadmill, and just spent a lonngggg long time on the bike (how can anybody think that's comfortable?!) engrossed in Law and Order on the tv in front of me. I did a little ab work afterward, but when I looked up at the clock and realized it was 9:00 I swiftly gathered up my things and left. That's just TOO late to be at the gym! Thank goodness I did decide to sign up for it though--especially right now, I can't imagine confining myself to the Winsor gym and it's limits.

I don't know if it has anything to do with the Reiki, or if I'm coming down with something, but I've been EXTREMELY parched and thirsty since yesterday. I drank at least 4 water bottles of water today! I filled the tub with water for the night to see if that helps with the dryness in my apartment.

I also embarked on two creative projects today! One is a video slideshow for the basketball girls of all the pictures I've taken this season, and the other is painting--inspired by a friend and coworker. Blick had a gigantic sale on supplies, so I stocked up canvases, brushes, and acrylics to let something else become a creative outlet.

Day 98 - Cross, 4 miles (44:06) and Reiki

"Everyday is a winding road, you get a little bit closer to feeling fine." - Sheryl Crow

Miles Ran: 317.19 Dollars Raised: $1,684.80 (Thank you Emily Bourque and Brendan Abel!!!!)

I feel like I'm in a little bit of a daze... I went to a Reiki session today after my workout and it did really help me relax. Basically the practitioner has you lie on a massage table and lightly touches you at certain energy points on your body, and is a middle-man for helping focus your own energies back into your body to help create balance, relieve stress, heal, etc. I always think it's weird when you get into that state between being awake and being asleep, whether it's because something wakes you while you're asleep, or you're so relaxed like today or when you're getting a massage. It's like I'm conscious, but I do things that I don't realize I'm doing until after I do them, like jerk my leg or breathe really deeply. I felt a couple sensations when she was working on my forehead, my ears, and warmth on my feet. I'm still really interested in checking out acupuncture though.

Today I did the same 45-minute bike warm-up, which was great because I gained a LOT of ground in my book, was able to increase the resistance to 12, and did over 10 miles. Afterward I got on the treadmill and struggled my way through four miles... It's definitely not easy. I can feel other parts of my left leg being strained since I'm adjusting my stride. At times I was just trying to put more kick in my step because, as I'm going at a much slower speed, I feel like dragging ass and weigh a million pounds. I don't feel like I'm making it worse, but I'm definitely not making it better. I think I'll just cross train tomorrow, but keep up this 45-minute bike and then short run routine going while I get back to normal. My goal is to do 10 miles next weekend so I can gauge how everything will go the following weekend at Disney.

Day 97 - Cross AND 3 MILES!!! (32:34)

"The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible." - Unknown

Miles Ran: 313.19 Dollars Raised: $1,658.60

Yayyyyy!!! Ugh, it felt SO good push through the pain and use those muscles again!

After not wanting to read anything about running last night, I had a dream that I went out with my team on the course, and after starting off slow I caught up to and passed some of my teammates running at a 9:00 pace. Maybe that's an omen?

I woke up this morning and stepped out of bed for the first time with no pain....granted, that only lasted for about 5 minutes but it's a start! After eating breakfast and getting myself over to the gym, I did 45 minutes on the bike while reading Shopgirl (reading makes the time go by so much faster). As I was biking I thought, "mayyyybe I could just try to run a little bit, mayyyybe just try for one mile."

After I got off the bike, again, no pain. I tried to take advantage of this period, like a power-play in hockey, and got on a treadmill right away. I was really anxious.. I started walking at 4mph and quickly learned that my normal on-the-balls-of-my-feet stride was not going to work, so I adjusted my stride and brought the speed up to 5mph. This wasn't so bad! Again, the smallest things were huge victories. I was astonished at how quickly 1/2 of a mile came up and thought, hell, I'll try for 2 miles. After one mile I brought the speed up to 6mph, because, how much harder could it be? At 1.5 I made the decision I was going for the 3.

The entire time I was just trying to think positively, telling myself YOU CAN DO THIS! KEEP TRYING! YOU GOT THIS! When 2.75 miles came around, and I got to 7mph (what I normally start at) I was thrilled. I got off the treadmill soaking wet, not in TOO too much pain (still walking with a limp), and proud. It's funny to think that the girl running next to me had no idea of the struggle I was going through, or the achievement I felt at the end. Which is probably another reason why I love running with a team--they ALL understand.

This was another moment where I wanted to cry. It made me feel like things are going to work out. There's been a lot of these moments over the past couple months...maybe that's why Rick described himself as an emotional guy when we first met him. This training just takes so much out of you, and gives so much back, you become overcome with DEEP feelings you've never experienced before.

Day 96 - Rest (these are getting annoying!)

"The greatest discovery of any generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering the attitudes of their minds." - Albert Schweitzer

Miles Ran: 310.19 Dollars Raised: $1,658.60

I'm just settling in after a nice night with my brother, aunt and uncle and am thinking of winding down my crazzzyyyy Friday with some reading. It's funny, I picked up and looked at two different running books at Brookline Booksmith and have yet to finish Born to Run, but I really do NOT want to read about running right now. It's like the pages are teasing me. I loved reading Born to Run and then feeling so inspired to go out and run myself afterward, so for now, I need to just focus on something else.

I was talking to my friend AR today about how I feel like I'm in purgatory. I go through these waves of feeling really energized and optimistic to feeling like I'm drowning in my own sorrow and things are never going to get better and I'm not going to be able to run Disney OR the Marathon. We started a discussion about alternative methods of healing, and she suggested a book I'm going to try and find tomorrow called Heal Your Body by Louise Hay. It's about the power of positive thinking and healing your body through meditation. I also got onto thinking about going to acupuncture--which I never really considered before, but the more I've mentioned it to people throughout the day, the more positive feedback I've heard about it. The only thing is, it's a litttttle pricey. So lastly, I made an appointment for Sunday to have a Reiki session done. My Mom has had them done before at home, and I'm hoping that, if anything, it will help get my emotions and my being back in balance, which will hopefully help my body to heal itself without so much stress. If anyone has any acupuncture references or any other suggestions, please let me know! I will try anything right now!

...Could all of this also be related to the mind/body conflict? Except, the power of the mind over the body to heal itself?

Day 95 - Cross

"I understand that with love comes pain, but why did I have to love so much?" - Unknown (My love is the running...)

Miles Ran: 310.19 Dollars Raised: $1,658.60

I FINALLY made it to the gym. PHEW! Thank goodness! I've been trying to work on my form of walking during the day, instead of babying certain areas of my foot. I even realized today that I can go up on my toes, with full weight, it's that pushing off the ground when I'm taking a step that's the root of the problem.

It's funny how when you're coming off of an injury, the smallest advances feel like such victories.

So. Went to the gym. I did the Arc Trainer for 25 minutes--until my foot was feeling pretty sore, even only doing a resistance of 30 and an incline of 3. Then I did the bike for about 30-35 minutes. I haven't done the bike in AGES! I'm trying to think...maybe even back at Gold's Gym where I used to go during the first few summers at home from college. What was great about it was I didn't have to put so much pressure on my foot, and could work on just stretching it out gradually over the course of the 5 mile ride.

Something that's been really frustrating me, though I completely understand it's out of concern, is having to retell my story of why I'm limping over and over and over and over and over and over and over... It's like, here I am, trying to move on mentally and think positively, but then I'm reliving it continuously. And then there are those people who just point out the obvious, "oh, you're still limping? Does it still hurt?" YES! Just ignore my gimpy walk and let me deal with this in peace haha I'm the type of person who feels really awkward when people have sympathy for me, I have an anti "poor me" personality, but unfortunately I can't hide the pain right now.

I also went and picked up my new sneakers today which definitely feel a lot more stable (and smell a hell of a lot better). I'm really excited to be able to run on them! How crazy is this!?! Look at how worn down my old ones were!

Day 94 - Rest

"Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing"- Unknown

Miles Ran: 310.19 Dollars Raised: $1,658.60

I really wanted to get to the gym today, but I just had to listen to my body, and I didn't think I was ready. Today I actually started putting weight on my foot, and attempted to walk normally, no matter how slow I am.

Winsor girls basketball pulled out a big win today! 19-4 over Beaver Country Day! I was so proud of the girls and how much they have improved. They're really understanding the plays and executing them, improvising, being confident with their skills, and look like they're enjoying themselves.

I was saying to my mom how deep down, I think I'm really scared to get back out and try to run. There's too many open-ended "what if's". What if I hurt myself even more? What if I realize it's going to take longer to recover? What if I'm going to be nowhere near what I'm capable of? My mind can only override my body so much. My mind wanted to continue to the end of that 17 mile run on Saturday. My mind wants to go out and run 10 miles this weekend. But my body is only going to let me do so much. It's funny because usually with the mind/body conflict it's the other way around where your mind tells your body, "awww you're tiredddd... you should stopppp.. you should slow down... you should go homeeee", but here I've had this positive, confident attitude for the past four months and it's been body aches and pains that have been holding me back.

I've seen Shaun White do a few runs, so now I can officially go to bed early with my headache and see if I can wake up early and face the elliptical...I hope!

Day 93 - Rest

"Keeping things fun help keep his mind off the pressure" -Mary Carillo, about Patrick Chan (Canadian figure skater)

Miles Ran: 310.19 Dollars Raised: $1,658.60

I have to say, it brings such a smile to my face when I read comments from people on my blog about me being inspiring, when here I am constantly searching for my own inspiration, and finding it in everyone around me.

Something I've been realizing, especially watching the Olympics, is everyone has their own story. Everyone has their own challenges they face. Everyone draws inspiration from something just to keep going from day to day. Whether it's work, or a family, or a road race, or a gold medal it's something that pushes you to be your best. I feel lucky to have found something I'm really passionate about.

Again, the foot seems to gradually be healing. I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow night and either do the bike or the elliptical, just to keep exercising and build my strength as much as possible. I can't wait!

Day 92 - Rest

"Smile when it hurts most." - Unknown

Miles Ran: 310.19 Dollars Raised: $1,658.60

The foot feels like it's getting better... but just to be sure I went to "urgent care" this afternoon just to make sure. The doctor was really nice, and understood where I was coming from in that I couldn't just let it rest for weeks... I'm in training and need to get back out there as soon as possible.

He said he didn't think anything was broken because otherwise I would be in excruciating pain. He thinks it's either plantare facsitas (sp?) or just bruised. He said I'm doing all the right things by icing, resting, heating, wearing shoes with arch support and taking ibuprofen. He said to take the next 5 days or so off from running, but could still try and do some cross training--nothing too strenuous or pounding on the foot, then gradually work myself back into it.

I'm hoping that by this weekend I'll be able to put in a 10 miler or so.

At least this doctor's visit made me feel a lot more relieved that nothing is SERIOUSLY wrong. I feel a lot more optimistic and feel like I just have to keep being diligent about taking care of myself.

On top of everything though, I feel a sickness coming on... great...

Day 91 - Rest

"I shall lay me down to bleed awhile, then rise to fight again." - Leonidas

Miles Ran: 310.19 Dollars Raised: $1,658.60

Watching the Olympics is so inspiring! Most of the sports I have never tried, or seen, before, but it's so amazing to watch. Talk about being passionate for a sport... Watching as a (wounded) athlete you see the drive they have, see them overcome injuries, fear, challenges... they give it their best and absolute 100% perfection. It gives me motivation to have a good attitude about taking care of my foot and getting back out there as soon as possible. Figure skating has to be my favorite though, and I have so much more respect for the skiers now!

I've spent most of the past day and a half on my bed, icing my foot, and I do believe it's getting better. The swelling has gone down, I was able to hobble around the apartment and grocery store, and it feels a LOT better when I have my sneakers on that have arch support. I'd still be interested in having it checked out, but the doc's office was closed today. An awesome grilled chicken salad and brownies also make it feel better ;)

Day 90 - 13 miles (about 2:10:00)

"Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure." - George E. Woodberry

Miles Ran: 310.19 Dollars Raised: $1,658.60 (Thank you Lynn Randall and Kevin Lynch!!!!!!!!)

I am so upset with myself...

Maybe I'm being over dramatic, or just being overcome with self pity. I feel like something that brings me such joy is going to be put on hold for, I don't know how long, and it really frustrates and saddens me.

The run today was so exciting. I couldn't sleep last night because I kept having dreams about not waking up in time for the run, or getting lost, or something else. I woke up early, got all of my things together (except for my watch! Grr!), picked up Clark, drove out to the Riverside T stop where I was greeted by TONS of runners. We all took shuttles over to mile 9 of the course, and I was all set to run the 17 miles to the finish line, even though we were only supposed to run 16.

The first 3 miles FLEW by! Rick even shouted out to me from his car as he was passing by which definitely gave me a boost of energy. When I got to the first water stop he was there waiting, and I was so excited to see him since it's been awhile. He asked me how my "Newts" were working out and I was happy to say "great! Blisters are better!" But apparently completely jinxed myself. The entire time I was "in the groove", keeping my short, quick strides and pace to be what I thought at LEAST 8:30.

By the time I got to mile 6 though, the middle, bottom of my left foot was starting to ache... I couldn't tell what it was... Were my shoelaces to tight? I stopped and adjusted them twice. Am I coming down strangely on it? I adjusted my landing. Finally, it was done. My foot was in utter pain. I tried slowing up my stride, doing more of a heel-toe motion, I was on the brink of tears with how frustrated and in pain and embarrassed and proud I was. I WAS GOING TO FINISH THIS RUN!

I got to the next water stop at mile 9.. "What mile are we at? When is the next stop?" Ok, I'll try and make it. All these people I had passed wayyyyy in the beginning had caught up and were passing me. I was praying Rick would be at the next water stop so I could ask his advice, but I was pretty sure he was planning to meet us at the finish. One of the coaches from another team thought it was just a muscle thing or a cramp and thought running it out would loosen it up. The fact was, I was too damn proud to just ask for help and for someone to take me to the end in a car that I pushed myself much further than my limit. At the next water stop, right at the Chestnut Hill Reservoir that I run around, I called Clark to let him know I would be taking much longer than anticipated... I was so happy to have finally reached the point in the race that I knew.

I made it almost to Washington Square on Beacon Street when I ran into one of my teammates who was walking in the opposite direction. I stopped to ask what he was doing and he said he and a couple friends were stopping early since they were nursing injuries as well, and do I want a ride? I broke down.. yeah.. I did want one. I should have taken a ride 6 miles ago. So then and there at mile 13 I admitted defeat. Not an easy thing to do for such a competitive and determined person as myself...

I met my brother back at my apartment where he did a few tests and noticed the only time it hurt is when I'm putting pressure down on it. We think it is a muscle thing rather than a stress fracture... maybe a sprain... I soaked in a hot bath and have been icing it ever since.

God, I wanted to finish that run so badly. I had the energy (especially since I was doing 10:00+ plus miles) and I wasn't sore anywhere else. The few positives were that I did get to see the course, which was really enjoyable to be somewhere new, and I did defeat Heartbreak Hill--which wasn't even really THAT bad! Ask me when it's mile 20 and not 10 and it might be a different story.

I plan to go back to Marathon for a new pair of Brooks Adrenaline's when I can put weight on my foot.

Day 89 - 4 miles (33:15)

"A run begins the moment you forget you are running." - Adidas (so true!)

Miles Ran: 297.19 Dollars Raised: $1,582.40

So I tried to turn my blackout into something positive, and set my alarm for 5 AM to get up and run a few miles before work--even though it should have been a rest day with such a huge run tomorrow.

As painful as 5 AM is, I love having all of that extra energy in the morning to kick-start my day. It's like having an extra large espresso (combined with my DD small Iced Latte Light, skim milk, and 2 Splenda). I don't know how, but I've evolved into a morning person more than I ever thought possible. For someone who's always wishing there were more hours in the day, I feel like it's a waste to lay in bed when I could be doing something productive.

The run itself this morning was pretty good, considering my ipod died halfway through. I don't know how the BSC fitness music channel thinks Depeche Mode "Enjoy the Silence" is a great workout song for the morning. I need something with a fast beat--something that will wake me up! Like my new Justin Timberlake and Timbaland "Carry-Out"! It always helps when I have people running next to me to keep my speed up (except when there's a guy with wayyy too much cologne on for 6 AM) and make me feel motivated to keep pushing. That last mile is always the hardest/easiest because as I'm increasing my speed from 8 mph to 9.5 mph I'm definitely giving every last ounce of energy that I have, but at the same time, it makes the mile go by so much faster.

My focus for the rest of the day is to try and prepare myself for tomorrow. Maybe eat a little healthier, keep a good smiling attitude, lay everything out that I'll need, make my post-run-PB&J, get good rest...and just mentally prepare myself for what lies ahead. I can't (and can!) believe I'll be breaking 300 miles tomorrow!

Day 88 - Rest

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will." - Jawaharlal Nehru

Miles Ran: 293.19 Dollars Raised: $1,582.40

As I sit by the light of a candle on my Blackberry, I wonder... Was I meant to not run today? Even if I had tried to wake up early and run 7 miles, I set my alarm for PM instead of AM and was therefore in a frantic rush this morning. After work and practice I went downtown for an alum event, and when I arrived home at 8:00 the power on my entire street was out! Just lovely...

I hate walking into dark buildings and always feel like someone with an axe is going to be hiding in the shadows. So now here I am, alone in the quiet solitude, with my 2 yankee candles, and my thoughts. I guess I'll just either read or go to bed...

Day 87 - Cross

"There is more to life than increasing its speed." - Gandhi

Miles Ran: 293.19 Dollars Raised: $1,582.40

Ahhh unexpected days off are truly, amaaaazing... No plans, no time restraints... just a lot of opportunities to get to things on my to-do list, relax, catch up on Tabatha's Salon Takeover, and enjoy a day of something different at the gym.

One thing I love about the arc trainer is I can hold a book or a magazine and actually read it! I don't know how anyone does it on the treadmill! I think it makes the time go by so much faster, probably just because I'm distracted by something. I forgot how much of a workout it is! After 45 minutes I was S-O-A-K-E-D. Is it just me, or do no other girls in the gym EVER sweat?!

Tomorrow should be interesting... I'm not really sure when I'm going to get a 7-mile run in. It's a little too much to do in the morning, and I'm supposed to go to an alumnae event at night. We shall see! Maybe it'll be a late night city run!

Day 86 - 6 miles (51:24)

"Time may change me, but I can't change time." - David Bowie

Miles Ran: 293.19 Dollars Raised: $1,582.40

Tonight's run felt really great! It seemed like time flew by, which is shocking when you're running for almost an hour. I felt back to my old self, in the 8:33-minute-mile average.

It took me a little while to get out the door... after work I was kind of in a daze at basketball--just feeling really stiff and out of it. So when I got home I took an hour nap, made some dinner, procrastinated some more, and probably left around 8:15 or so.

The only thing that was a little bit bothersome was that the balls of my feet were starting to ache again. This may be too much information but, the new, more raw skin was taking a test drive and definitely has to build up that strength again. No recurring blisters though. I'm thinking if in a couple weeks the shoes are still giving me some trouble, I'll make a trip to Marathon Sports and figure out where to go from there.

Right now I'm just perfectly content having no pressure on my feet. You know what I think I need... a SNOW DAYYYYYYY!!! Just got the call and it's my first official snow day since college! Woohoo!

Day 85 - 4 miles (33:55)

"Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you." - Oprah

Miles Ran: 287.19 Dollars Raised: $1,582.40

For starters. Mental note: Trader Joe's frozen Indian food is a baaaaaaaaaad, bad idea even 2 hours before a run. At about mile 3.5, when I'm usually kicking it into high gear, I had to pause for 30 seconds because I felt like I was going to throw up.

Tonight I was trying to focus on...focusing. From the moment I got home I was on a mission to do a few things, and when I got to the gym and found myself getting distracted by the aches of the first mile and the people around me and the basketball game on the big television, I had to tune out the world, look my reflection dead in the eye, and sync my strides with Rihanna. That's just another thing to add to the list about why I hate treadmills...it takes so much more energy to put your blinders on and just GO. But there's always this great feeling when you realize you break through that road block and are just along for the ride your legs are taking you on.

Also, I just have to say, it's really depressing taking down Christmas decorations, and makes me realize how much more decorating I have to do...

Day 84 - 3 miles (27:21)

"You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them." - Michael Jordan

Miles Ran: 283.19 Dollars Raised: $1,582.40

Today was supposed to technically supposed to be a rest day (as I'm already messing with the schedule for this week) but considering how lousy I felt last Monday when I went to run, I figured I might as well just put in a couple miles.

I ran over to CVS really quickly to pick up an Albuterol inhaler, since after these past two weekends spent in dog hair it's been depleted. Then I hustled over across the street to the gym and ran for a half hour just before they closed the doors. I was so annoyed because, though I'm not totally excited about the Superbowl, I wanted to see the commercials (Doritos have been the best), and for some reason CBS isn't one of the channels at the gym? Strange...

I'm so excited to be back on track and working my way up to the 16-mile Children's Hospital run on the course this weekend! Now I just have to clean up my apartment to feel like my life is completely in control.

Day 82 & 83 (Rest & Ski)

"I thought it was going to be a montage of Chelsea falls... and I laugh... and Laura says, 'oh guys...' and then we pose for a photo. But it wasn't that at all." - Mr. Crowley

Miles Ran: 280.19 Dollars Raised: $1,582.40 (Thank you SO much Doug Reeves!!!!)

I just have to start out by saying, there have been times throughout this training that has really surprised me, but this one may take the cake. I got an email from our team manager on Friday that this man, Doug Reeves, just out of the blue donated $250 to EACH member of our team! This is unbelievable to me. I had to read the email about five times until I believed it. I appreciate everyone's support to no end, but it's these people who I completely did not expect to encourage me that really surprise me and make me realize how much bigger this marathon really is.

I think this past weekend was really rejuvenating in many ways. Being with my best friends, in a different place, doing something different together (skiing) was just a completely ridiculous, fun, refreshing time. Skiing came a little easier this weekend, but I only did one trail because we came across a few bumps in the road, including one of the snow bunnies deciding at the top of the mountain that he'd rather be at the bottom without having to ski down it. Building a raft out of our skis didn't seem like an option... But we conquered our fears, picked up the speed, and made the most of our time together on flat ground when we got there :)

Day 81 - 14.53 miles (42:01, 1:23:43)

"I just want to be wonderful." - Marilyn Monroe

Miles Ran: 280.19 Dollars Raised: $1,332.40

Part 1: 5 miles (42:01)

This morning was the best I've felt in awhile, and I'm hoping that carries on through tonight. For once I felt like I was in a "groove" again, and on a treadmill that's especially surprising. I love watching sports highlights (basketball in particular) when I'm running because I try to make the movements on the screen match with the beats on my ipod. It also helped that there were two girls pumping along on either side of me that I felt like I was racing.

I think getting a decent night's sleep greatly attributed to it (and a dream about holding a huge event with my business cards blown up everywhere?) and I just felt really awake. I also feel like I kind of got that yucky attitude out of me. Do you ever get the feeling where you just need to cry, even though you don't have anything to cry about? I was looking for that outlet watching Grey's Anatomy (which used to make me cry every episode) but didn't get it. Then I fell asleep, and was awoken and discombobulated by a phone call from my Mom (it was before 10:00 so on a normal night, I would have been awake). On the positive side, she ran TWENTY-SEVEN MINUTES straight on the treadmill, which I am SO proud of her for!! She's really been doing a great job at increasing her endurance ever since she got her new running shoes. But on the down side, she found out one of her good friends passed away from lung cancer the night before. After I hung up the phone, the waterworks came. I just kept thinking about how thankful I am that my Mom stopped smoking, and that many of my friends are stopping as well. I am so proud of them, and know it's like a marathon journey in itself.

Now to try and stay positive, stay energized, and run a great 10 tonight :)

(Found this while I was writing a review for different Boston children's book)

Part 2: 9.53 miles (1:23:43)

I finally felt back to normal, and it feels so good!

Tonight I met up with Robbie and, though I was aching at the end, I think I kept up with him pretty well. He definitely pushes me, and he's a good person to talk to. It really makes the run go by SO much faster when you're not constantly looking at your watch to see how far you've gone. We started in Coolidge Corner and went along the Charles allllll the way down to the Science Museum, came up on the Cambridge side of the Charles, crossed back over at Mass. Ave., and back up Beacon.

Running at night just leaves me in awe of my city. Coming down along the Charles the lighting eerily casts blue shadows on the icy water, and coming along the Cambridge side you can see the entire long skyline. It's so beautiful, especially on clear nights, like tonight.

It was (almost) perfect conditions to be back out for a long run. Clear, a mild 27 degrees, barely any wind... so much better than last week. Runs like that can definitely change your attitude around for the better.